How to Write Vivid Scenes #amwriting

In fiction writing, a scene is a single incident or event. However, a summary of the event is not a scene. Scenes are written out in detail, shown, not told, so we see, hear, and feel the action. They often have dialog, thoughts, feelings, and sensory description, as well as action.

A scene ends when that sequence of events is over. A story or novel is, almost always, built of multiple linked scenes. Usually the next scene jumps to a new time or place, and it may change the viewpoint character.

Think in terms of a play: The curtain rises on people in a specific situation. The action unfolds as characters move and speak. The curtain falls, usually at a dramatic moment. Repeat as necessary until you’ve told the whole story.

So how do you write a scene?

• Place a character — usually your main character — in the scene.
• Give that character a problem.
• Add other characters to the scene as needed to create drama.
• Start when the action starts — don’t warm up on the reader’s time.
• What does your main character think, say, and do?
• What do the other characters do or say?
• How does your main character react?
• What happens next? Repeat the sequence of actions and reactions, escalating tension.
• Built to a dramatic climax.
• End the scene, ideally with conflict remaining. Give the reader some sense of what might happen next — the character’s next goal or challenge — to drive the plot forward toward the next scene. Don’t ramble on after the dramatic ending, and don’t end in the middle of nothing happening.

Scene endings may or may not coincide with chapter endings. Some authors like to use cliffhanger chapter endings in the middle of a scene and finish the scene at the start of the next chapter. They then use written transitions (later that night, a few days later, when he had finished, etc.) or an extra blank line to indicate a break between scenes within a chapter.

A scene can do several things, among them:

• Advance the plot.
• Advance subplots.
• Reveal characters (their personalities and/or their motives).
• Set the scene.
• Share important information.
• Explore the theme.

Ideally, a scene will do multiple things. It may not be able to do everything listed above, but it should do two or three of those things, if possible. It should always, always, advance the plot. Try to avoid having any scene that only reveals character, sets the scene, or explores the theme, unless it’s a very short scene, less than a page. Find a way to do those things while also advancing the plot.

A scene often includes a range of emotions as a character works towards a goal, suffers setbacks, and ultimately succeeds or fails. But some scenes may have one mood predominate. In that case, try to follow with a scene that has a different mood. Follow an action scene with a romantic interlude, a happy scene with a sad or frightening one, a tense scene with a more relaxed one to give the reader a break.

Summarize Plot or Write Every Detail? 

Don’t rush through a scene — use more description in scenes with the most drama, to increase tension by making the reader wait a bit to find out what happens. Important and dramatic events should be written out in detail, but occasionally you may want to briefly summarize in order to move the story forward. For example, if we already know what happened, we don’t need to hear one character telling another what happened. Avoid that repetition by simply telling us that character A explained the situation to character B.

Avoid scenes that repeat previous scenes, showing another example of the same action or information. Your readers are smart enough to get things without being hit over the head with multiple examples. If you show one scene of a drunk threatening his wife, and you do it well, we’ll get it. We don’t need to see five examples of the same thing. Focus on writing one fantastic scene and trust your reader to understand the characters and their relationship. For every scene, ask: Is this vital for my plot or characters? How does it advance plot and reveal character? If I cut the scene, would I lose anything?

Next week: Connecting Scenes

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Chris Eboch is the author of over 60 books for children, including nonfiction and fiction, early reader through teen. Her writing craft books include You Can Write for Children: How to Write Great Stories, Articles, and Books for Kids and Teenagers, and Advanced Plotting.

Her novels for ages nine and up include The Eyes of Pharaoh, a mystery in ancient Egypt; The Well of Sacrifice, a Mayan adventure; The Genie’s Gift, a middle eastern fantasy; and the Haunted series, about kids who travel with a ghost hunter TV show, which starts with The Ghost on the Stairs. Learn more at https://chriseboch.com/ or her Amazon page.

Advanced Plotting is designed for the intermediate and advanced writer: you’ve finished a few stories, read books and articles on writing, taken some classes, attended conferences. But you still struggle with plot, or suspect that your plotting needs work.

Advanced Plotting can help.

How to Write Vivid Scenes

Last week I shared a guest essay on keeping suspense in your writing. One of the basic building blocks of fiction is the scene, and a well-written scene can contribute to maintaining tension in the story.

In fiction writing, a scene is a single incident or event. However, a summary of the event is not a scene. Scenes are written out in detail, shown, not told, so we see, hear, and feel the action. They often have dialog, thoughts, feelings, and sensory description, as well as action.

A scene ends when that sequence of events is over. A story or novel is, almost always, built of multiple linked scenes. Usually the next scene jumps to a new time or place, and it may change the viewpoint character.

Think in terms of a play: The curtain rises on people in a specific situation. The action unfolds as characters move and speak. The curtain falls, usually at a dramatic moment. Repeat as necessary until you’ve told the whole story.

So how do you write a scene?

• Place a character—usually your main character—in the scene.
• Give that character a problem.
• Add other characters to the scene as needed to create drama.
• Start when the action starts—don’t warm up on the reader’s time.
• What does your main character think, say, and do?
• What do the other characters do or say?
• How does your main character react?
• What happens next? Repeat the sequence of actions and reactions, escalating tension.
• Built to a dramatic climax.
• End the scene, ideally with conflict remaining. Give the reader some sense of what might happen next—the character’s next goal or challenge—to drive the plot forward toward the next scene. Don’t ramble on after the dramatic ending, and don’t end in the middle of nothing happening.

Scene endings may or may not coincide with chapter endings. Some authors like to use cliffhanger chapter endings in the middle of a scene and finish the scene at the start of the next chapter. They then use written transitions (later that night, a few days later, when he had finished, etc.) or an extra blank line to indicate a break between scenes within a chapter. (You'll find my essays on cliffhangers by clicking on the "cliffhanger" link in the list to the right.)

A scene can do several things, among them:

• Advance the plot.
• Advance subplots.
• Reveal characters (their personalities and/or their motives).
• Set the scene.
• Share important information.
• Explore the theme.

Ideally, a scene will do multiple things. It may not be able to do everything listed above, but it should do two or three of those things, if possible. It should always, always, advance the plot. Try to avoid having any scene that only reveals character, sets the scene, or explores the theme, unless it’s a very short scene, less than a page. Find a way to do those things while also advancing the plot.

A scene often includes a range of emotions as a character works towards a goal, suffers setbacks, and ultimately succeeds or fails. But some scenes may have one mood predominate. In that case, try to follow with a scene that has a different mood. Follow an action scene with a romantic interlude, a happy scene with a sad or frightening one, a tense scene with a more relaxed one to give the reader a break.

Don’t rush through a scene—use more description in scenes with the most drama, to increase tension by making the reader wait a bit to find out what happens. Important and dramatic events should be written out in detail, but occasionally you may want to briefly summarize in order to move the story forward. For example, if we already know what happened, we don’t need to hear one character telling another what happened. Avoid that repetition by simply telling us that character A explained the situation to character B.

Avoid scenes that repeat previous scenes, showing another example of the same action or information. Your readers are smart enough to get things without being hit over the head with multiple examples. If you show one scene of a drunk threatening his wife, and you do it well, we’ll get it. We don’t need to see five examples of the same thing. Focus on writing one fantastic scene and trust your reader to understand the characters and their relationship. For every scene, ask: Is this vital for my plot or characters? How does it advance plot and reveal character? If I cut the scene, would I lose anything?

See also Seven Essential Elements of Scene + Scene Structure Exercise by Martha Alderson from Jane Friedman. '

Next week: Connecting Scenes

 Advanced Plotting is designed for the intermediate and advanced writer: you’ve finished a few stories, read books and articles on writing, taken some classes, attended conferences. But you still struggle with plot, or suspect that your plotting needs work.

Advanced Plotting can help.

Buy Advanced Plottingfor $9.99 in paperback or as a $4.99 e-book on Amazon or Barnes & Noble, or in various e-book formats from Smashwords.

On the Edge of Your Seat: Creating Suspense, by Sophie Masson

Part of keeping your reader’s attention throughout your novel is creating suspense, regardless of your novel’s genre. Here’s an excerpt from an essay in Advanced Plotting by guest author Sophie Masson:

On the Edge of Your Seat: Creating Suspense

Suspense is what keeps a reader reading—wanting to know what happens. The suspense can be of all kinds, from wanting to know who the baddie is in a thriller to wanting to know whether the heroine is going to choose Mr. A or Mr. B as her love interest, to—well, just about anything, really! Creating and maintaining suspense is important in any kind of story or novel; it is especially so in the kinds of genres that are built around suspense: mysteries, thrillers, spy stories, fantasy. Here are some of my tips, honed over years of writing in many of those genres!

First of all, to create suspense you need:

Some background information.

But incomplete knowledge.

That is, from the beginning the author needs to already have something set up—to let the reader know something about a character and their situation, or the suspense won’t happen—you have to care what happens for suspense to occur in the reader’s mind.

You can build towards that or start immediately with a suspenseful mysterious beginning, but there must not be too many clues as to what might happen or the suspense will fizzle out before it’s had a chance to happen. You need instead to build up the tension carefully, making the reader think that something is one way when it’s another. But at the same time you can’t play dirty tricks on them—you shouldn’t for instance at the climax suddenly produce a character that wasn’t there before—either in person or mentioned—as the villain, or the reader has a right to feel ripped off.

In my detective novel The Case of the Diamond Shadow, for instance, the true villain is hidden behind a smokescreen of red herrings—but is there all along. It’s just that nobody even thinks of them in connection with the crime!

Character is very important in suspense. I think that plot itself, the driving machine of a story, is really at heart the unfolding of interaction between characters, good and bad. That is what creates situations and fuels tension. So you need to feel strongly for your characters especially the one or ones from whose point of view the action is viewed from, but also the others with whom they interact. If the characters feel real to your readers, then they will see when someone is acting out of character—and that will immediately set up suspense. Or say your main character trusts someone—really trusts them—and little by little they begin to change their minds, to suspect they’re up to no good—excellent suspense too.

Sophie Masson has published more than 50 novels internationally since 1990, mainly for children and young adults. A bilingual French and English speaker, raised mostly in Australia, she has a master’s degree in French and English literature. Her most recent novel to be published in the USA, The Madman of Venice (Random House), was written for middle school children, grades ~6-10 and her recent historical novel, The Hunt for Ned Kelly (Scholastic Australia) won the prestigious Patricia Wrightson Prize for Children’s Literature in the 2011 NSW Premier’s Literary Awards. www.sophiemasson.org

See the complete essay and two dozen more in Advanced Plotting, plus a detailed explanation of the Plot Outline Exercise, a powerful tool to identify and fix plot weaknesses in your manuscripts. Buy Advanced Plottingfor $9.99 in paperback or as a $4.99 e-book on Amazon or Barnes & Noble, or in various e-book formats from Smashwords.

Analyze Your Plot Arc for Emotion:

We’ve been working with the Plot Arc Exercise I posted three weeks ago. We looked at our plots for conflict and tension. Now it’s time to check the emotion. I asked you to list the major emotions for each scene, and underline the primary one. If you have little emotion, or only happy emotions, you probably don’t have a dramatic plot. In that case, you want to focus on making things harder for your characters.

Hopefully you have a strong emotion in every scene, probably a negative one—fear or grief or anger, for example. Strong emotions drive the story forward. But any emotion, no matter how strong, seems to flatten out over time. If you have a suspense novel where your character is on the run and constantly terrified, it becomes emotionally exhausting and even tedious, no matter how exciting the action. The emotion flows in a straight line, and straight lines become boring. Instead, you want ups and downs.

In Writing the Breakout Novel, Albert Zuckerman describes a scene from Gone with the Wind, where Scarlett is going to confess her love to Ashley. She’s nervous but excited. She starts out hopeful. He doesn’t respond as she wishes, and she starts to get anxious. She becomes determined and tries harder. He admits that he cares for her. She’s elated! But then he explains why they can’t be together. She flies into a rage. He leaves. She’s devastated. Rhett Butler pops up from where he’s been laying on the couch. She’s humiliated that he overheard. He tells her she’s too good for Ashley. She gets angry at Rhett....

See how many different emotions are in that one scene? And I’m going on memory here, so I may be missing some. Scarlett displays not only a variety of emotions, but strong ups and downs, from devastation to elation. Granted, Scarlett is an unusually emotional character, so your main character may not react with such extremes. You still want to make sure that he or she has a variety of fairly strong emotions. In that suspense novel, you want your character to feel relief, because she escaped. She’s exhausted, she just wants to rest. But she’s worried about will happen next. She tries to puzzle out the clues. She starts to get angry. Wait—what’s that sound? The fear comes back... and then you lead into another action scene. The low allows your hero’s—and your reader’s—adrenaline to drop, so that the next rush is a more powerful experience.

This holds true even if you’re not writing action books. Even a relatively “quiet” story about interpersonal relationships should still have a variety of strong emotions, though they may be expressed in different ways.

I recently finished an adult suspense manuscript. I tend to be a strong plotter, and I started with an extensive outline, so my first draft of a scene would have plenty of action and dialogue. Then I’d go back through and flesh out the emotion. I’d make sure I was giving my main character time to react and express her emotions, if only in her own head. On the surface, it might seem like this would slow down action scenes. But by fully exploring your character’s reactions, you increase the drama and keep your reader invested in the main character’s experience. We’re not just seeing what happens, we’re seeing how it affects our hero or heroine.

That’s a long lead-in to a short (but important) section of the exercise. Go back to your Plot Arc Exercise and analyze your scenes as follows:

•             How many emotions do you have in each chapter/scene? Can you add ups and downs? (For example, your MC feels happy anticipation, then anxiety that things aren’t going as planned, followed by a shock, which causes humiliation, then anger, then despair.)

•             Do the main character’s emotions escalate over time? As events get more serious, and the stakes rise, the emotions should also increase.

 

One caveat here—you want to avoid getting melodramatic. Remember, you want ups and downs, so quieter or less extreme emotions can provide some of those. Unless you’re creating another Scarlett O’Hara, don’t have your main character react excessively to everything. Save the powerful emotions for powerful events.

A Little Change for A Lot More Tension

If you've been following this blog, you know I'm a fan of cliffhanger chapter endings, whether that means pausing in the middle of an action scene, or simply ending in a quieter moment that still looks forward. So once you've chosen your cliffhanger moment, how do you make the most of it?

Sometimes you may need to add a little new material -- new thoughts, new dialogue, or even a twist in the action -- in order to build a proper cliffhanger moment. As a bonus, this may take your story in new and interesting directions.

Examples:

In Haunted: The Ghost on the Stairs, I had a scene where the kids call their father. He is a scientist who does not believe in ghosts, so they are trying to get advice on how he would research ghosts, without letting him know what's going on. To add more tension—and a cliffhanger ending—I had Mom walk in during the conversation and get upset over what she heard and misunderstood. That's much more powerful than just having the kids say goodbye to Dad and hang up. Plus, it adds a twist to the story as Mom, feeling guilty about neglecting her kids, decides to spend the whole next day with them, interfering with their plans.

In Haunted: The Riverboat Phantom, I didn’t have this ploy of Tania’s in the original outline, but needed to end the chapter with something more than just having the kids walk off.

      “I wish we could do something about Madame Natasha,” Tania said. “She makes Mom unhappy, and she’s poking in our business. We’ve just got to get rid of her.”
      I rubbed my hands over my face and yawned. I still felt kind of weak after my ghost encounter. “One thing at a time, OK? Let’s deal with Henry O’Brien [the ghost] first.”
      Tania got that look in her eyes. The one that means trouble ahead. “But maybe they’re not separate problems. Mr. O’Brien seems ready to believe the worst of everybody. And if there’s one person who deserves it, it’s Madame Natasha!”
       “You want to sic Henry O’Brien on her?”
       “Why not? It’s about time a ghost did us a favor.”

This encourages the reader to turn the page, to find out just how they sic the ghost on the fake psychic, and whether it works.

Exercise: Look over your chapter endings and see if a minor tweak to the action could create a more powerful cliffhanger. (See my June posts on cliffhangers for more help.)

Next week -- keeping your cliffhangers honest.

The Drama of a Place

I've been discussing ways to add tension to your stories, by making better use of elements such as the villain or secondary characters. You can also look to your setting for more drama. Sometimes the possibilities are obvious. In my Mayan historical adventure, The Well of Sacrifice, I opened with the heroine gathering medicinal plants in the jungle, and running into a tribe of savages. In later chapters, she gets trapped inside the dead king’s sealed tomb, and then thrown into a sacrificial well. How's that for a dramatic use of setting!

But not every book has to have tombs or cliffs. Even everyday settings such as school or a suburban neighborhood can provide elements for adding drama, humor, or other interest.

In the Haunted books, the "setting" is a traveling ghost hunter TV show, with different specific settings for each book. In my first version of The Ghost on the Stairs, the kids watched some of the filming, but I didn’t use the TV show much. While expanding the novel, I added a chapter where they try out the ghost hunter gadgets, and another where their stepfather interviews people who have claimed to see the ghost. Both these offered opportunities for humor, as only the kids knew whether the gadgets were really working, and whether the interview subjects were telling the truth.

I used the individual settings specific to each book as well. The Riverboat Phantom takes place on a Mississippi steamboat, where action scenes include a fight in the boiler room and a ghost-induced hurricane on the top deck. The Knight in the Shadows starts at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and involves a subway journey to The Cloisters. The MET and The Cloisters are full of interesting elements. A subway is even more intriguing to a kid who's never been on one, but add a ghost to the mix, and you get action and humor.

Tip: Look for ways to use your setting to add complications. What if the weather changed? What if they went somewhere without cell phone reception? What if they had to pass through a bad neighborhood—or sneak through a rich gated community with a guard? If your setting could be Anywhere, USA, charge it up for dramatic value.

Example: Look at the movie Sweet Home Alabama. Would it be the same if the main character only had to go home to New Jersey?

More on Cliffhangers

As noted last week, cliffhanger chapter endings drive the story forward. But they can also inspire new dramatic events. If you have to find a way to add a scary or exciting twist at the end of the chapter, the scene automatically becomes more dramatic.

In the Haunted series, I try to keep my chapters to about 1500 words. If I can't find a cliffhanger moment within 1600 words, maybe there isn't as much action as I want. If a chapter goes longer, I split it in two—which forces me to add a new cliffhanger halfway through the chapter.

For example, in Haunted book 4: The Ghost Miner's Treasure (not yet published), I had a chapter that was going on too long. I looked back through it, especially at the 1200 to 1600 word point, to see if I had a moment I could turn into a strong chapter ending. I found this:

          There was another guy in the room. He had shaggy dark hair and skin that looked like he spent every day in the sun. He stared at us a moment, with black eyes that kind of gave me a shiver, then looked down at the map spread across his table.
          The old guy bustled around, pulling out books and boxes and stacking them on an empty table. I sighed. This looked like it might take awhile. Tania sat down, and I moved up next to her. I jumped back when my elbow seem to hit a wall of cold. I must've gotten too close to the ghost. There really wasn't room for all of us.
          "Hey, why don't I go find Mom, while you get started," I said. "She'll worry if she doesn't know where we are."

There's something potentially dramatic there -- a physical encounter with the ghost. But they've already gotten to know the ghost, and it's just a slight brush of the elbow, so it passes in a moment. To build that into a cliffhanger chapter ending, I changed it to this:

          When I glanced up, I saw the dark-haired guy staring at us, with black eyes that kind of gave me a shiver. For some reason, he reminded me of the fortune teller, and her words "Bad luck" seemed to echo in my brain.
          I guess I took a step back without realizing it. I let out a yelp as I stepped into a wall of cold.

I took a small moment and made it bigger. Because the reader already knows the freezing effects of ghosts, they'll wonder what happened when Jon backed into one. This also allowed me some humor at the start of the next chapter, as Jon knocks into the museum curator. Books go flying, Jon has to somehow explain what happened, and he draws even more attention from the spooky guy.

Tip: To keep the plot action-packed, check your pacing by noting your chapter lengths. If some chapters go on much longer than others (proper length varies by genre and age range), look for places to add action.