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I do a lot of manuscript
critiques. (See my rates andrecommendations.) Even advanced writers often get
wordy. Here are some tips on eliminating that problem so your writing is as
tight as my current deadlines are (plus other sources with more detail).
One
of my pet peeves is characters nodding their
heads or shrugging their shoulders.
What else would one nod or shrug? We don't nod our elbows or shrug our
stomachs. (If you have a character doing that, then definitely specify!)
Otherwise, you can simply say he nodded
or she shrugged. Yes, I know, this is
a tiny, unimportant detail. But trust me, once it's pointed out to you, you'll start
to notice and find it irritating!
Another
unnecessary phrase – he thought to himself.
Unless you have psychic characters, we'll assume he's not thinking to someone
else. (In close point of view, you don't need to use "he thought" at
all; just state the thought and we'll understand that the character is thinking
it. But that's another issue.)
If you have more web browsing time, here are
a couple of my favorite posts on eliminating wordiness.
Cut
the Clutter and Streamline Your Writing, from Crime Fiction Collective, by
Jodie Renner Editing: “Once you’ve gotten through your first draft, it’s
important to go back in and cut down on wordiness and redundancies in order to
make your story more compelling, pick up the pace, and increase the tension and
sense of urgency.”
Cut
the Clutter and Streamline Your Writing, Part II, from Crime Fiction
Collective by Jodie Renner Editing: “Start by
cutting out qualifiers like very,
quite, rather, somewhat, kind of, and sort
of, which just dilute
your message, weaken the imagery, and dissipate the tension.”
It’s
a Story, Not an Instruction Manual!, from Crime Fiction Collective, by
Jodie Renner Editing: “Whether you’re writing an
action scene or a love scene, it’s best not to get too technical or clinical
about which hand or leg or finger or foot is doing what, unless it’s relevant
or necessary for understanding.”
And a warning not to take things too far:
Crossing
Words Off Your List: Making the Most of Editing "What Not to Use"
Lists, from The Other Side of the Story by
Janice Hardy: “The right word for
what you're trying to say is always the right choice, no matter what that word
is. Most times, cutting that flabby word or finding that strong noun or active
verb is the right choice,
but once in a while it's not.”
Chris Eboch is the author of over 50 books for children,
including nonfiction and fiction, early reader through teen. Her novels for
ages nine and up include The Eyes of
Pharaoh, a mystery in ancient Egypt; The
Well of Sacrifice, a Mayan adventure; The
Genie’s Gift, a middle eastern fantasy; and the Haunted series, about kids
who travel with a ghost hunter TV show, which starts with The Ghost on the Stairs. Her writing craft books include You Can Write for Children: How to Write
Great Stories, Articles, and Books for Kids and Teenagers, and Advanced Plotting.
Learn more at https://chriseboch.com/
or her Amazon page,
or check out her writing tips at her Write
Like a Pro! blog.
Good post - and great reminders. Thanks for the links, too. I shared this to my Fan Page and on Twitter! :)
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