I've talked a lot about cliffhangers in recent months. I've explored how to find your cliffhanger moments, then how to draw those out by focusing on suspense rather than surprise and using lots of detail. One step remains: paragraphing for maximum dramatic impact.
My favorite writing book ever, Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, by Renni Browne and Dave King, has a whole chapter on paragraph breaks. They note that you can add tension to a scene by using short paragraphs. With short paragraphs, the reader's eyes move more quickly down the page, subconsciously giving a sense of speed. Short paragraphs—and short sentences—also mimic the way we speak when we are upset, anxious, or in a hurry.
Let's look at an example from Haunted 2: The Riverboat Phantom. This chapter ending could be done as one full paragraph, as only one person speaks, and the action only takes a few moments.
“Wait!” Tania shrieked as she stumbled forward, arms reaching out. I leapt toward her to catch her but realized too late that she wasn’t talking to me, or reaching for me. Her hand moved like she was grabbing an invisible arm, then she gasped and pulled back, hugging the hand to her body. My momentum carried me forward, even as I tried to stop. I felt the cold first on my arms, like icy vice grips squeezing my biceps, then waves of cold flowed down to my hands, up to my shoulders, and all through my body. I tried to breathe, but my chest felt too tight. My vision blurred and darkened. The last thing I saw was Tania’s horrified face, before I fell.
But that big paragraph with long sentences gives a feel of rambling narrative. In comparison, the following version (as published), uses shorter paragraphs and shorter sentences, focusing down to a single three-word sentence in the final paragraph, which gives each moment clarity and impact.
“Wait!” Tania shrieked. She stumbled forward, arms reaching out. I leapt toward her to catch her.
Too late, I realized she wasn’t talking to me, or reaching for me. Her hand moved like she was grabbing an invisible arm. She gasped and pulled back, hugging the hand to her body.
My momentum carried me forward, even as I tried to stop. I felt the cold first on my arms, like icy vice grips squeezing my biceps. Then waves of cold flowed down to my hands, up to my shoulders, all through my body.
I tried to breathe, but my chest felt too tight.
My vision blurred, darkened. The last thing I saw was Tania’s horrified face.
And I fell.
Exercises: Study a few published books. Flip through a chapter, not reading it, but looking at the white space. Does it change toward the end of the chapter, with shorter paragraphs? Then look at sentence lengths—do they change toward the end of the chapter?
If the book you're studying does not change (and many published books do not), try rewriting the chapter ending using the cliffhanger techniques I've been discussing —suspense rather than surprise, plenty of detail, and finally short paragraphs and short sentences.
Then look at some of your own work. Can you add drama to the chapter endings with these techniques? Good luck!
