Friday, September 16, 2011

Write Better with Powerful Paragraphing


Here’s part two of my essay on cliffhangers from Advanced Plotting:

Powerful Paragraphing

Description can usually be kept together in one longer paragraph. Action reads better when broken into short paragraphs. Short paragraphs can actually make the story read faster, because the eye moves more quickly down the page. You can also emphasize an important sentence by starting a new paragraph or even putting that sentence into a paragraph by itself. For example, consider the following two action scenes:

Example 1:

     My car picked up speed as it rolled down the steep hill. The light at the bottom turned yellow so I stepped on the brakes. The car didn’t slow down. The light turned red as I pressed harder, leaning back in my seat, using my whole leg to force the brake pedal toward the floor. My car sped toward the intersection while other cars entered from the sides. I sailed into the intersection, horns blaring and brakes squealing around me as I passed within inches of two cars coming from each side.

Example 2:

     My car picked up speed as it rolled down the steep hill. The light at the bottom turned yellow.
     I stepped on the brakes. The car didn’t slow down.
     The light turned red.
     I pressed harder, leaning back in my seat, using my whole leg to force the brake pedal toward the floor.
     My car sped toward the intersection. Other cars entered from the sides.
     I sailed into the intersection. Horns blared and brakes squealed around me.
     I passed within inches of two cars coming from each side.

These use nearly the same words. The only differences are that in the second version I broke up some long sentences into short ones, and I use seven paragraphs instead of one. I think the second version captures more of the breathless panic that the narrator would be feeling.

Take another look at your drama scenes, especially those at the end of a chapter. Can you make them stronger by breaking long paragraphs up into shorter ones? Play around before you make a final decision. Maybe putting each sentence in its own paragraph is going too far, giving the scene a choppy feel. Maybe you want to alternate between longer and shorter paragraphs, with a single word in the last paragraph. Try some variations and see what has the most impact.

Next week: Quiet Cliffhangers

 
Advanced Plotting is designed for the intermediate and advanced writer: you’ve finished a few stories, read books and articles on writing, taken some classes, attended conferences. But you still struggle with plot, or suspect that your plotting needs work.

Advanced Plotting can help.

Buy Advanced Plotting for $9.99 in paperback on Amazon or as a $2.99 e-book on Amazon or Smashwords.

2 comments:

  1. I love to use a lot of paragraphs when I write. Your right, it does make the eye move faster down the page. :) Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm a visiting Campaigner in your group. Ancient Egypt and, even better, a Mayan drama? I'll definitely check out your books!

    ReplyDelete