Here’s part
three of How to Write Vivid Scenes
from Advanced Plotting.
Cause and Effect
One of the
ironies of writing fiction is that fiction has to be more realistic than real
life. In real life, things often seem to happen for no reason. In fiction, that
comes across as unbelievable. We expect stories to follow a logical pattern,
where a clear action causes a reasonable reaction. In other words, cause and
effect.
The late Jack M.
Bickham explored this pattern in Scene
& Structure, from Writer’s Digest Books. He noted that every cause
should have an effect, and vice versa. This goes beyond the major plot action
and includes a character’s internal reaction. When action is followed by action
with no internal reaction, we don’t understand the character’s motives. At
best, the action starts to feel flat and unimportant, because we are simply
watching a character go through the motions without emotion. At worst, the
character’s actions are unbelievable or confusing.
In Manuscript Makeover (Perigee Books),
Elizabeth Lyon suggests using this pattern: stimulus — reaction/emotion —
thoughts — action.
Something
happens to your main character (the stimulus);
You show his
emotional reaction, perhaps through dialog, an exclamation, gesture,
expression, or physical sensation;
He thinks about
the situation and makes a decision on what to do next;
Finally, he acts on that decision.
Finally, he acts on that decision.
This lets us see
clearly how and why a character is reacting. The sequence may take one sentence
or several pages, so long as we see the character’s emotional and intellectual
reaction, leading to a decision.
Building Strong Scenes
Bickham offered
these suggestions for building strong scenes showing proper cause and effect:
The stimulus
must be external — something that affects one of the five senses, such as
action or dialog that could be seen or heard.
The response
should also be partly external. In other words, after the character’s emotional
response, she should say or do something. (Even deciding to say nothing leads
to a reaction we can see, as the character turns away or stares at the stimulus
or whatever.)
The response
should immediately follow the stimulus. Wait too long and the reader will lose
track of the original stimulus, or else wonder why the character waited five
minutes before reacting.
Be sure you word
things in the proper order. If you show the reaction before the action, it’s
confusing: “Lisa hurried toward the door, hearing pounding.” For a second or
two, we don’t know why she’s hurrying toward the door. In fact, we get the
impression that Lisa started for the door before
she heard the pounding. Instead, place the stimulus first: “Pounding rattled
the door. Lisa hurried toward it.”
If the response
is not obviously logical, you must explain it, usually with the responding
character’s feelings/thoughts placed between the stimulus and the response.
Here’s an example where the response is not immediately logical:
Knocking rattled the door. (Stimulus)
Lisa waited, staring at the door.
(Action)
Why is she
waiting? Does she expect someone to just walk in, even though they are
knocking? Is she afraid? Is this not her house? To clarify, include the
reaction:
Knocking rattled the door. (Stimulus)
Lisa jumped. (Physical Reaction) It was
after midnight and she wasn’t expecting anyone. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe
they’d go away. (Thoughts)
She waited, staring at the door.
(Responsive Action)
Link your scenes
together with scene questions and make sure you’re including all four parts of
the scene — stimulus, reaction/emotion, thoughts, and action — and you’ll have
vivid, believable scenes building a dramatic story.
Get More Writing Advice
Chris Eboch is the author of over 60 books for children,
including nonfiction and fiction, early reader through teen. Her writing craft
books include You Can Write for Children: How to Write
Great Stories, Articles, and Books for Kids and Teenagers, and Advanced Plotting.
Her novels for ages nine and up include The Eyes of Pharaoh, a mystery in
ancient Egypt; The Well of Sacrifice, a Mayan
adventure; The Genie’s Gift, a middle eastern
fantasy; and the Haunted series, about kids who travel with a ghost hunter TV
show, which starts with The Ghost on the Stairs. Learn more
at https://chriseboch.com/ or her Amazon page.
